A thought #2

If the way we love each other and ourselves is like a night light, the way God loves us is like a laser.

the last month

Strap yourselves in, this one's gonna be, as I like to say, kilometric. I might end up splitting it into 2 parts or something. Wow, so where to begin... I guess I haven't blogged since I got this computer, seeing as how that was my previous blog was about, so I'll try to start way back then and work myself into the present.

Ok, at that point I was still working at Cleveland, OH. I worked until mid-November. The last two weeks heading up to my leaving Sherwin were actually busier than I thought they'd be. It was good tho, kept me busy and entertained until I finished up. The last day was pretty interesting. I had to stay late the day before on thursday because I was working on something important that I had to finish and so stayed till 5 instead of my usual 4:30. That meant I could've left at 4 on friday but instead at 4 I asked for permission to use the copy machine to do make some copies for my JET (Japanese Exchanged and Teaching program) application. Well, for whatever reason that took me all the way until 5 to get done. The good(?) part of all that was that I got to see everybody leave and everybody said goodbye to me and wished me the best of luck on all my endeavors and whatnot. At 5 when I finished up and pretty much everybody in the office had left, I finished packing up my things and went on my merry way out of the office. It was almost eerily quiet as I was the last one to leave, I think but mainly, it was a nice way to go. I felt like I was really ending that part right. But wait! epilogue! :) As I was getting on the elevator I remembered there were some people that worked in the gym that I wanted to say goodbye to. So I stopped at the 10th floor. Unfortunately those people weren't there :( So I just told one of the trainers that were there, almost choking up how much I was thankful for the people that helped me out in the gym for helping me with my workout and helping keep me motivated. So another door closed behind me, probably one I wouldn't soon go through again. And as I waited in front of the elevator, I got pretty choked up and tried not to be a crying mess, successfully, thank God! Didn't wanna sob all the way home. I really didn't think I'd get so sad to leave the company. I mean, I'm still working for them and stuff but I feel in my mind I was coming to terms with never seeing some of those people again. Of course, there's a fair possibility that I will see them again, but that's just how I work.

Well the last 2 weeks of November came and went and were altogether awesome :) I got to have some, probably unmerited, vacations so I got to do just about everything I wanted to... and a few things I didn't want to. To sum it up, I pretty much played video games and hung out with friends throughout. The second week is when most things went down. I got to make sure and see all my friends and start packing all my crap. Thanksgiving was a total blast! Wednesday night a few of us went over to the Kakos' and saw a bunch of christmast movies (Elf, The Santa Clause and The Polar Express, in case you were wondering). Then we all went to sleep, and woke up early next day for TURKEY BOWL!!! We all went to a snowy soccer field and played some football. Fortunately I just ran around a lot and didn't have to get muddy or anything :D. Afterwards everybody went their way to their houses to enjoy some thanksgiving meals. I stayed at the Kakos', who were extremely nice in having me over for all this :). Friday night Jill, Sue and I went to little Italy in Cleveland and had some delicious italian food (and just as scrumptious dessert after that!). We proceeded to take said dessert over to Steve's to share and devour until it was later than I should've been out the day before moving. Saturday was moving day. I woke up mad early to try and finish packing and cleaning things up a bit but without a doubt everybody helping me out actually finishing to help me pack made it all possible! I'm so thankful for everybody that went and helped me out, especially Kate, who was also moving that day and came out to help me and Jill, who was there since way early to give me a ride to the u-haul place to get the truck. Really there's just no way that I could've had everything done by the time I had to leave. Finally, once everything was packed up we went over to Chipotle (coz there aren't any near rochester >.<*) and then we all said goodbye and I left... The weather was absolutely unbelievable. Not a drop of snow or rain the entire way there. Actually, it was sunny throughout Ohio and Pennsylvania, though obviously gloomy and cloudy once I hit NY.

Once I got to Rochester it was all a bunch of having to get used to everything again. I moved into an apartment with people I basically didn't know and at first things were sorta bumpy. The girl I was replacing in the apartment (and her sister) hadn't moved out so yet so I still had all my stuff in the living room (including my bed) and stayed there for like 2 days. No biggie and after that they were able to find where to live and we got all the changes set up and done and I moved into my room and a week later I more or less unpacked some things... lol. There are still some things I'm getting sorted out but they're coming along. Class is pretty cool. Japanese, as I've been saying to everyone, is super fun and cool and I'm so glad to be taking lessons again :D! Tech Transfer is like storytellers with Perry, which is cool (better than taking class, I always say XD, but really, there's much to be said about learning from experience and he's just sharing his experiences with us. Client-side programming is gonna be hard, but I knew that. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with it and not get screwed over... I think Ill be ok. Finally, working remotely is pretty cool. Getting stuff done, and I'm glad to be able to help out with whatever I can.

So what else can I say? I'm sure I skipped saying a ton of things but in general that's what went down :) Right now I'm digging IAMX(it's crazy alt rock), whom I heard about because Imogen Heap did a remix of one of his songs, 'spit it out', which rocks, btw! The remix comes out in a few days and guess who's gonna buy it? *points at self* As for right now, I'm sitting in the library in a section called the Idea Factory (where you don't really have to be quiet) and there's a silent auction going on called E-Waste done by SEAL. To give some context, SEAL is an environmental group that my friend Ryan is a part of, and I think one of my roommates is too so that's cool. They get stuff for E-Waste from donations from students and just whoever, really, and then sell it today as a fund raiser.

Oh yeah, I wanted to put some pictures in here of my old apartment in the process of moving and my new place. I suppose I'll do it in another post haha... hopefully that's sooner than a month and a half from now. And one last thing, haha, see, this is what happens when you don't blog forever. One very important thing that happened monday of my first week of vacation (see mid-November + 1 day) was I finally submitted my JET application. It's what the copies in my last day of work were for :). Well I recently got a letter at home telling me they got the application and it was processed. So now I just have to wait until near the end of january to find out if I'm going to NYC or not to get interviewed. *prays* I really really want to go to Japan and I think this would be a super sweet way of doing it. God-willingly, I'm as good as there :D And with that I'm off ;)

Catch y'all later. Also, any ideas what I should do with several hundred haiku? XD

Answered prayer

So, wow, yesterday and today I've been praying so strongly: "God, please let the computer be shipped today so I can get it this week and not have to wait till monday".

A little back story: (uh oh, here comes another long post ( sorry people) ) Well here's the deal, I wanted to get a new computer when I graduated - 4 years after starting college, in my mind - and the four years came and went but I didn't graduate, which is fine and not a big deal because of how RIT functions and co-ops and whatever. Anyway, since I've had a job I've been savin up money and whatnot and was starting to think that I'd just get a new computer as this one's getting pretty old and could really use a replacement, 'couldn't you, sir Trustypants?'. So a few weeks ago (like maybe late August or September or something) I found out that new macbooks were going to come out so I decided I'd wait for those and get a new computer then. Well the day of reckoning was last tuesday (October 14) and Apple unleashed some sweeeeet refreshes to the notebook line. Needless to say I was super excited and decided to get the new macbook to replace my current iBook. Well upon careful consideration, I decided to save some money by ordering it through Amazon instead of through an apple store or apple.com. Why? Simply because I'd be avoiding about 100 dollars worth of tax, which, even with a student discount, would be more expensive than not getting taxed at all. And so began the wait.

I could've gone to an apple store on Wednesday the 15th and gotten a shiny, brand new one but I decided to be at least a little bit thrifty and wait it out via the Amazon route. Thursday, the computers finally went on the site and that night I ordered it!!! I was psyched but at the same time a little bit concerned. See, all of the new notebooks on Amazon said 'pre-order' and I thought, well, they'll probably get them tomorrow or something. Now, if you know me, you know waiting indefinitely is one of my pet peeves. Give me a date and I'm happy. So long as I have a set end, even if there's a possibility it can change, I'm way more chill than if I have to wait indefinitely for something. Well that pre-order meant indefinitely in as many senses as that word can have. So of course, the days leading up to this Tuesday were a good dose of self-inflicted torture (I'm sort of dressing it up here haha). Finally this Tuesday, that is, yesterday, the model I'd ordered got into Amazon. I got an e-mail that finally gave me a set date to wait for, but at the same time was a bit of a let down. See, I was ever so strongly expecting to have it by this week so that I could enjoy it over the weekend when I would have some good free time. Well much to my dismay, that e-mail had the following Monday, the 27th as the estimated delivery date. I wasn't crushed but I definitely sighed at the thought of having to wait yet another weekend for what could have been mine practically a week ago. There was still hope though.

I had selected 2-day shipping, which, meant that no matter when Amazon sent it, I would get it approximately 2 days later. So then I really started praying. I seriously begged: God, please please pleeeeease let it be sent today so that I may get it on friday!!! Now, some may scoff, 'hah, so much emphasis put on something material like a new computer' but if you know me, you know I have a sort of obsessive nature when it comes to my focus on the next shiny thing to get. So I get a concentrated pigeon-holed tunnel vision that drives me nuts. (yeah, maybe I should work on that, haha, but it's sort of fun too) The point is, God was nice enough to let me have this whimsical request and went a step further. I just checked my mail and it says It's supposed to get here tomorrow!!! Now, I may not be able to pick it up at work tomorrow but that's besides the point. Indeed God answered my prayer and went a step beyond, even for such a simple thing as getting a package. Now, I'm not Bible thumping with this but really, if that's not a sign of a loving, personal God, I don't know what is. <3

MOAR HAIKU

Allo there world, here you go. The haiku for the first 10 days of October!

10/01/08
ten soldiers at play
ten commands to execute
ten children in wait

alt:

octopus hiding
to tear his prey asunder
bereft of pity

10/02/08
memories of youth
the sorrow I came to know
sadness in farewells

10/03/08
even the wild beasts
in this sudden autumn chill
are all but prepared

10/06/08
taken by the hand
I was shown each of the stars
and heard their voices

10/07/08
spiraling downwards
we are stuck in a tailspin
crash course with winter

10/08/08
a treasure most sought
not one of gold or jewels
an unbroken heart

10/09/08
the here and the now
though it is all that we know
is a passing note

10/10/08
stealing hearts with stares
lovers are quite dangerous
breaking hearts with words


© Emilio Gandara

A thought

Every small effort, every intention put into action is like a snow flake being gathered by a little bit of momentum called time. Before you know it, it's all added up into an unstoppable force.

peace

So I drew this on sunday, I think. It means ease or peace. Please look at the whole thing because it doesn't do it justice to view the small version.

Also, sorry I haven't been updating. I can't believe I only updated once this month. Oh well, busy busy life, mine... I suppose.

Haiku update + bonus sleep away msg

Hey all. I liked this week's haiku so I'm putting them up. (Haiku is a japanese word and as such has no plural so in this case, I hope you presumed that there are more than one, a conclusion you may have supported with the fact that I write a haiku every work day)

09/02/08
a promise was made
an oath that I am under
separate the sound
09/03/08
memories are strange
try not to forget yourself
remembering me
09/04/08
the sun is ready
and the trees prepare themselves
for the coming fall
09/05/08
brilliant morning star
millions of shining mirrors
sparkling as they fall

And finally, because monday was a holiday and you're probably expecting 5 haiku, here's a little extra poem, which is not a haiku, mind you, but at least it's a good bunch of words strung together. (or so I would like to believe)

closing eyes, bracing themselves for the fall
slowly falling, fading as the soft lines tremble
sinking into the door my mind immolates
a thirsty flame restless in deep sleep

© 2008 Emilio Gandara

1, 2, 3, 4

If you're a Feist fan you can definitely appreciate this:

update - saturday

Most everybody is out of town today. Dillon, Steve and Jill were over in Chicago with Kate and Kathy. Jeremy was in Connecticut visiting his parents and doing something with his car. What it all means is I had today aaaaaaaaaaaaall to myself. I can definitely appreciate a good free Saturday. I did a ton of things today including laundry, grocery shopping as well as buying some things in the pharmacy. For the record, I really don't like the fact that there are 2 CVSs (lol I almost called it scv's a la StarCraft) in East 9th street, basically 1 or 2 blocks from each other but about 10 blocks from where I live. Oh well, I didn't really mind a nice walk with some good music. You know, the kind I lip sync to while nobody else can hear it and it makes me look insane, I betcha.

I also did something somewhat adventurous (in a geeky sense). As some of you may know, I use the Dvorak input. Well I touch type so it doesn't tend to be a problem that the keyboard's set up QWERTY style. However, I'd been thinking about changing the keys around into Dvorak input for whatever reason and today I did it. It was pretty friggin scary though because I didn't know exactly how to remove the keys and I was scared to death of defacing my keyboard. Even though it's dirty, having a hole instead of a key somewhere would surely decrease resale value by quite a bit and I do intend to sell this guy around next summer when I go to get a new one to replace ol' faithful here.

Well I decided to test out how to remove keys with the '\' key. That's one I don't use often so I figured if I did break it, I wouldn't miss it as much as, say, the 'a' key. Well I pushed and pulled cautiously though intently until it finally came off with a click. Thankfully I didn't break it but I wasn't sure how I'd gotten it off so I put it right back in to try again so I could see how to best take it off. The second time, I must've done it wrong or something because the little mechanism under the keys that keeps them bouncy came undone, much to my horror. I spent the better part of the following half hour trying to put it back together between thoughts of whether it was futile and trying to figure out exactly how it was that this insane engineering actually happened (I may be giving them too much credit). Well after a while, I was able to put it back together and one good thing that came of having to stare at the contraption so long was thinking of a way to remove the keys more easily. So I tried it on a different key, this time one that I would be moving about for the change into Dvorak and it came off with little to no hassle. *phew* So I got to work removing most of the keys, as 'a' and 'm' are in the same place in both inputs, and after a few minutes I had myself a Dvorak input keyboard :D.



What else, what else? Oh yes, today is the first day of DS∑3713, the Square-Enix event featuring trailers and demos of two of my favorite game series: Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts. Specifically the new games coming out, for the most part, no sooner than march of '09. Darn you Squeenix for making up salivate for months. Oh well, at least by then I'll have finished all my Japanese classes, which only means I'll better be able to understand the dialogue by the time I import those titles XD, coz you know I'm not gonna wait until they localize them. That was a fun parenthesis!

Oh, yes, also today I did a new piece of Japanese calligraphy. It's the character 優, which means a ton of things, but I chose it because when read as　優しい (yasashii), it means 'tender, gentle'. Although to be honest, the fact that it also means 'to excel' when read as 優れる (sugureru) is pretty darn cool. It's like sweetness and pwnage all at once XD. Ah, the story of my life (wait, where'd my modesty go?). Actually, after finishing it once, I realized I'd learned the character the wrong way and had to redo it. Again another thing going wrong in my exploits today, but like the last time, it too had good in it as now I know how to correctly write that character. Although actually, if I remember correctly, this happened before the keyboard event, hehe, but it still holds! And so here it is, for your viewing pleasure~



I must be working in retrospect. The last thing I'm gonna mention is I played a good bit of soul calibur 4 this morning. That was fun but I don't think anybody else cares so I'll leave it there hehe and this has been a pretty long post as it is so it ends now!!! Have a good one y'all.

yet another crazy away message turned poem

I don't think I can say it any better than the title of this post so here you go. For your amusement and bemused wondering:

red roe rubies:
such sweet silliness
that there, though through
unstable, utterly
volatile vixens, visibly vexed
wolves would wildly want.

© 2008 Emilio Gandara

the Reals

Hey all! Here's the latest haiku series. You may or may not know but I occasionally will do a series of haiku instead of the usual daily kind. This one was special in that it follows a story rather than a theme. I present you, the tale of numbers.

why would a number
have any reason to fear?
they can be consumed

in the realm of Real
there is a lack of nothing
naught is but a thought

yet the negatives
live a cursed fate and war
bearing the curse-mark

and so they battle
positives and negatives
endlessly dying

until finally
the king of the positives
stepped forth to battle

the legendary
the never-ending ruler
is infinity

but to oppose him
negative infinity
came to decrease all

one by one they ceased
at their own hands or the kings'
only kings remained

a final face down
two endless powers clashing
a new king is born

fear is but a thought
in this world there is Nothing
he is the new king

© 2008 Emilio Gandara

Hope it made sense and you all enjoyed it :D Hope I'm not breaking too many haiku rules XD

You are not safe in the elevator

So, hilarious. Last night I went to Jill's place with a few friends and we hung out and saw Newsies and ate cookies and just had a good time in general. Afterward, Steve dropped me off at my place at around 2:30AM. Well as I was going up the elevator to my 8th floor apartment, it stopped at, I think the 4th floor and a guy and girl come in the elevator. The door is practically opening when the guy gets reeeeally close to me screaming in my face 'nobody loves me!!!' and then goes on a quasi-unintelligible rant about how he went to a gay bar and got no attention. Subsequently asking loudly not only the girl he was with but probably myself too 'do you know what it's like to be gay... in a sea of gays?' Well the girl was rather drunk too (ok that's a soft way of putting it, they were both hammered) and she answers 'not really, no'. But that's all the short trip up to the 6th floor gave us a chance to share. Then as they're stepping off the elevator the girl extends her hand for a hand shake as she wishes me a good night. Of course I oblige and wish her a good night in return. The door closed and my elevator ride continued for two more floors while I laughed in disbelief that what just happened actually happened.

Alternate title for this blog: Drunk Elevator Quotes

Now Listening to: Death And All His Friends

you should watch (or maybe you shouldn't): IOSYS magic

picnic among other things

Today was the company picnic that I almost melted at. Yeah, that one in particular sans the somewhat bad grammar. It was pretty fun. Went down with most of the people from the team and had a good lunch. Of course since it was an all-you-can-eat, I ate more than I should have but oh well, no problem. I'm sure I sweat half of it off the following hour. I also got some random carnival prizes (without playing carnival games coz apparently people weren't really playing for them or something in that vein. hah. Of note was the diablolo, which works like any plastic, surplus toy would (read: it doesn't). Or maybe I'm just not very good with it. Today was also pretty nice at work coz I actually had things to do for most of the day and then got to leave a half hour early!

So yeah, here's a cool little run down that I'm gonna start doing at the end of blogs (if I remember):

now listening to: Corneria from Star Fox (Super Smash Bros. Brawl OST)

ordering you to view (though in reality this is only for immi lovers like I):

Growth Group

I won't go into much detail but growth group was excellent last night. Growth Group is a small group from church I go to and we hang out and study the Bible. Well last night we had a bit of breakthrough, you could say. I really feel as though God spoke to all of us last night. It was truly a life changing experience. I kept praying that we wouldn't just go about our lives the same way after last night. That we internalize and not forget what we learned. To face our lives, to see ourselves in the mirror and step away from what we know isn't how it should be.

In other news, I've decided to blog like a blogger. What I take that to mean is I'm just gonna do posts about whatever more often than before. This isn't a biography and it shouldn't be. If something tickles my fancy, I'll drop a line or two about it. Put a video or a picture up and say something about it. I like that. Let's see if I can actually do it.

June

As usual it's been a good long while since my last blog actually detailing my life. Even still, I would like to keep this one short and just give a rather quick update of how things are going. I'll assume it's been roughly a month since my last update and since July just started, I'll recap June.

The highlight of June was, of course, my lovely vacations in Puerto Rico. Visiting family and friends is pretty much always a good time. I had a great time, ate a lot, got to see Cris' graduation (which we made a lot of fun of afterward), and had a good weekend in Fajardo (even though we couldn't actually go to Culebra). The rest of June really ain't much a big deal. The co-op's officially over so I've pretty much slipped into a support roll at Sherwin, which is fine by me. I'll still be working there until November, at which point I'll be moving back to Rochester, as most all of you know. I'm pretty excited to go back and finish up and get on with my life, particularly so because it may mean my going to Japan next year and that excites me more than anything right now. I hope I can have Maru-sensei as my prof for Adv Jap 2 as well as 3. She's 最高 (the greatest).

Well now that I've properly digressed, hehe, June, in general was a fun month, also because I was Mr. June at the gym. So amused by that. Speaking of which, my body seems to refuse to go below 170 pounds. Fine enough, so long as I continue to get in better and better shape as I strive for the elusive 6-pack. Yes, that is (shamelessly) my new goal. And with that I leave you my fellow friends, family, bloggers, dreamers and poets.

Newest Haiku Series

Can you guess what the theme is? Most of the people that read this will already know but whatevs.


quick as silver light
though not cold quite hot its air
hot like blacksmith steel

love, twin of the earth
life devoid the shade doth have
release your arrows

life of the party
the spring of activity
o, busy blue sphere

the flames of war rage
beat the drums that call "BATTLE"
tainted scarlet stone

gargantuan gale
the willow's wisp so crimson
restless maelstrom sky

setting moons all day
and despite the company
she is desolate

dangerous dancer
a clock-work bull's eye turning
child of newer days

seas frozen in time
secrets of the great dark storm
grandiose tempest

the smallest has gone
no longer one of our own
a new family

© 2008 Emilio Gandara

contrast

I stood in utter darkness. Almost suffocated by the very density of the thick black shroud, I kept my eyes wide open. Then a distant glimmer with no warning and the breaking ocean of night crumbles as the shine washes over me, then through me and blinded by the light...

I sing a new song

scene of a morning treason

More random right-before-bed poetry! This one's a tad morbid...

shivers the air
throbs once more the wave
weakening seal

keep a watchful eye
o, hawk circling
this dawn awakens

tearing ribbons
piercing sharply
the blade has found you

haunted day, hunted prey
rings the breaking chalice fallen
death has reaped no finer spoil

© 2008 Emilio Gándara

Free Thoughts

Life is a complex mechanism. If one thinks of the human body, depending on how much head knowledge on the topic you may possess, you may name at the very least 2 or 3 intricate systems, all part of one single organism. All working in unison, all with a purpose. Yet, even within that marvelous complexity, living is a simple action. In many ways we choose to live, but at its core, we are alive subconsciously. In the same vein, there is a simple-complex analogy about the workings of our emotions. Some may argue that what we feel is no more than impulses within our brain, nothing but electricity running through connectors inside the gray matter. Be it that or not is outside of my authority to say, but I do know that emotions that carry names, such as anguish, love, happiness and the like, are as simple in their core as they are complex in their execution.

If we take the most popular, love, the average adult mind needn't go far to find a veritable library of memories upon which to draw conclusions with. Nevertheless, to take an unbiased view of love, while nigh impossible, may in fact reveal something unknown to even the eldest reading this. At the risk of sounding poetic, who can truly say that love is something that can fit inside a logical equation or that it is bigger than our imagination? Obviously these are rhetorical questions of quality, not quantity. What I may perhaps be getting to is that love may fit snugly within the confines of our understanding or reside squarely set on a shrine far beyond our reach at the other side of a limitless chasm. And even then, given the plurality of what people deem love to be: romance, sacrifice, determination, resolve, attraction, passion; a clear definition cannot possibly be given. Therein lies the complexity of this particular system. However, what I would like to clarify, if I may, is the simplicity of it.

Perhaps in a fit of naivete, or maybe a struggle with denial, I would almost blindly believe that there is a core facet of love from which all other complications arise. If only out of the natural pattern and order of things, perhaps, do I deduce that this exists at all. And yet, I insist that it does. It might not be the best approach but it may shed some light to strip away layers from the whole idea in search of an indivisible center. My first instinct is to remove romance although it may present me as some bitter commentator. Regardless, I would understand love to be far deeper than what most take romance to be. My short life has met me with little experience, but I'm an avid observer and have seen the many motions of others reacting to the motions of romance. I am convinced that love must be stronger, deeper, darker than something that brings two people together only to find them riven within half a month. Not to belittle romance, of course, truly a beautiful thing in its proper place and time, but truly, though romance may be part of love, love is truly a far cry from being nothing more than romance.

So then what is truly left? Ever since I was young I was taught that there were three kinds of love: agape, filial and eros. Eros being romantic love, filial being the love one feels for ones family and agape being the love we have for/from God. So would love then be trine and separate or a whole with three subsets? I would gamble to say it is a whole. Who's to say all three kinds of love cannot spring forth from the same essential source? Ultimately where does that leave us? After digging past the romantic layer, we can be met with either the filial or agape layers and honestly I don't believe it would be far fetched to consider love from God to go beyond what human love can conceive or offer. Truly the love of a mother towards her children surpasses the love of lovers on a merry day or the swelling heart of a father whose boy won the race weigh heavier than that of a woman being asked for her hand in marriage. Again these are situations begging for a quantitative measurement though never being conceded one and as such, my humble opinion is all I can muster to present. But I would like to believe that given a moderate amount of thought, many would agree with me.

Finally, can we say that there is nothing left but God's love? My perspective being that of the Christian faith, that along with my rearing and development, I know this would be a point of careful study and scrutiny and it very well ought to be. Regardless, this is the point to which I have gotten to: at its simplest, the very fount and source of love is none other than God. If one were to believe God's words then it is as simple as this: we love because He first loved us. Far be it from me to try to convince anybody of God's love for us or His sovereignty therein. And so, what does that truly say of love? Given the traits of God, we could say the love we have is limitless and powerful, among too many things to mention in this short analysis.

Conclusively, the simplicity of love lies in the overwhelming sense that it springs forth from our souls fed plainly from the everlasting source. Whether we love our brothers and sisters or lovers and friends or return as much of it as we may to whence it came, we can rest assured that if there is any complication in what we call love then it is simply the human element adding onto a pure essence. The clarity through which we can observe love comes at the price of the conscious disregard for ones own preconceived notions and learned reactions to what it truly is.

Some of that non-sense

So last night I wrote another poem hehe. Seems like that's what happens nowadays: I'm about to go to sleep and tired yet a good line pops into my head and I can't let it go to waste so I make a whole darn poem from it. And here it is...

a separate life
so eagerly lived
misty eyed and mystified
a torn canvas full of white

a gift given bitterly
no drop of light for morning
blooming dreams
the shattered sunrise

a crashing voice
surpassing fates
opening deaf ears
and the sea of washing memories

© Emilio Gandara 2008

Disclaimer: It doesn't make any sense, I know, but it doesn't bother me because I enjoy form more than meaning at times and that's just how I felt last night. I don't care if it makes sense to anybody or if anyone tries to make sense of it, I just wanted to write something I could think was pretty. Oh, and I think I called it 'Separate Life'.

Hooray!

I'll try to keep this short as it's during the morning and I don't have a lot of time to waste. In any case, here's how it goes. I was working out in the gym as usual "just workin on my fitness" when suddenly one of the trainers along with the lady that gives you the keys to the individual lockers (and whom I assume is in charge in the gym, to a degree) approach me. Basically, to be to the point, they asked me if I would agree to be Mr. June! Haha. I'm sure this requires some context so here's a quick explanation. In the gym, along the hallway where all the lockers are, there are a few bulletin boards along the walls. One of them is like an article about exercise or good dieting, another one is usually about how to have a healthier lifestyle (like what not to eat out and what are healthy options when eating out) and the one in between those two is the Member Spotlight. In the Member Spotlight, every month they select a member of the gym who apparently has a story to tell and they do a feature on that person.

Ever since I first saw that board, I think I secretly aimed to be in it some day. I'm more than honored that I would be asked! It's truly thanks to God! I wouldn't even be here without Him. I'm really excited but I think it's good to stop here. More details possibly coming...

Rubik's Fun

Just sharing something cool: ^^

storm

Hey y'all, here's a little gift (too bad only like 1 person ever visits this blog lol). This morning I opened photoshop and was noodling about and made this little number. I call it 'storm', or arashi, as the character so plainly reads XD.

Oh, it's 1024 x 768 btw, sorry if your resolution's not that...

2 things, real quick

1: Last night right before I went to bed I felt like writing a new away message and this came out:

I surrender my mind
as I lay myself down
all the strength that I have
is worth nothing

I enter a world
that is bound by my soul
a limitless void
full of visions

so whatever may come
be it friend, foe or fiend
will be welcomed by me
though not wanting

and when the dawn glows
with a rousing mystique
I will leave those worlds
naught but forgotten

© 2008 Emilio Gandara

2: With my recent discovery that my name in Japanese should be エミリョ instead of エミリオ, I looked up new kanji for it and I think I've come up with two cool combinations:

会美侶 - meet beautiful companion
彗弥旅 - comet increasing travel

Which one do you like better? I like the fact that the first one has easier to know kanji but I like them both about the same anyway. I'll probably decide on my own but I have to make it to work today and so I can't stare at it too much for now. I'll probably come back tonight and choose.

Wow, just wow

I got a surprise phone call today, as in, I had no idea who from New York was calling me. When I answer it I'm pleased to find out that it was Sensei calling me! And I'm like, yay sensei, and she's like, hey how are you and then I suddenly hear everybody singing Happy Birthday to me. It was a bunch of people from the advanced japanese class. Many of them friends I've been taking the classes with. As it turns out, I believe today was the day the Advanced Japanese 3 class does the play that is part of the curriculum and they were out eating after the performance. Well Sensei called me and had everybody sing and I'm just taken way way aback by the moment and soooo happy. I could barely believe it happened. After everybody sang I spoke a bit with Sensei and she asked me what I'd done today and whatnot. In any case, it was awesome and now I can't wait to go back and have some more fun in my japanese classes. Too bad most of my friends from class will be done this quarter but at least Corey will possibly be taking it with me... and he better *death threats* haha.

Point in case: Sensei rocks!!! XD

Colorful Haiku

During my extensive Haiku practice, I've occasionally done a series of haiku around a theme. Here is one such theme:

Colors~

Look! A red herring
its scent meant to throw you off
but you followed me

an orange sunset
crimson and gold in the sky
warmth welcoming night

yellow light of hope
in the midst of night, a sun
dispels the darkness

no more am I green
the naiveté of youth
or envy of age

a spirit of blue
burning fire cool to the touch
proceed with caution

purple's majesty
a lake's watercolor dusk
mimicking the night

indigo glasses
paint my world a hue of new
midnight at midday

© Emilio Gandara 2008

Maybe some other time I'll post another series...

Identification

So let's get the big news out of the way, I got my Ohio license. To those who talk to me on a regular basis you know I'd been sort of anxious (see: flippin out) about taking the written test. Well this morning I went (Jeremy was awesome and let me borrow his car to get there and back (which is much much better than taking a bus (and you may see why) ) ) and took the test and passed it! I suppose it's worth telling the story coz I enjoy writing it, supposedly!

Well here we go, this morning I set my alarm for 6:30 because Jeremy and I had agreed to pick me up at 7:30 so I would drop him off at work and then I'd be on my way to the BMV (normally the Department of Motor Vehicles, but Ohio has a Bureau instead). Well i got there before they opened because I found a closer place than the one I would've ended up going to (Thank God) and just waited outside playing with my Rubik's cube, that I got this week on a whim :). Well eventually the doors open and I go in and take the eye test first, which I did great at without my glasses. I took it without them because they told me if I took it with them they'd restrict me to only driving with my glasses, which I pretty much already do but just in case I'd rather not have restrictions on my license. After that I was told to sit at one of the stations to do the written test, which mind you is no longer written but digital and on a touch screen.

There were 40 questions and I needed to get at least 30 of them right to pass. It was a little bit nerve wracking but I tried to be careful and mindful and just kept praying as I'd been doing for days about this. I skipped some of the questions because I wasn't sure and it wasn't until the end that I discovered that this was actually a good strategy. The exam ended before I could go through all of the questions because I met the quota of correct answers. That's why it was a good idea to throw some questions to the end of the queue possibly saving myself from more mistakes. Nonetheless I passed and was given my slip to hand off next door where I would actually get my license. It was still very early so I didn't have to make a line here either. I would pretty much make it to work on time too if things kept going as smooth as they were. Well I finish up all the paperwork but right before I go to get my picture taken I have to pay and it's evident they only take cash or checks, neither of which I had on me (I did have some cash but not enough). So I had to leave and try and find an ATM. The person at the counter told me to go to the gas station down the road and I did but it wasn't working and so I got sent to the bank down the next road *sheesh* and lo and behold, it didn't open until 9, which is when I normally get into work. *sigh* but no matter - I thought, because I had already recovered an hour on tuesday in preparation. So I stay in line at the bank, yes, in line, outside the door. Another one of the instances where I feel like a minority because everybody else was black. But that's a different point for another day. Anyway, at 9 the doors open, I rush in to the ATM, get the money, rush out, and take my time on the road to get back to the licensing locale (because i don't want to ironically get in an accident trying to get a license). So I get there, pay and get my picture taken and shortly after my license is given to me shiny and brand spankin' new.



In other news, I was staring at my old license on wednesday pondering the 'out with the old, in with the new' motif of it all and noticed I had 188 lb as my weight. I couldn't help but smile as I realized I am currently more than 10 pounds lighter than I was when I was 16 years old. In other words, I'm pretty much in the best shape of my life! Nope, I really can't get off my crazy weight loss mindset haha. And all you worry warts out there don't worry, I won't lose 'too much'. I've already thought about it and have come up with a plan so chillax, I'm a big boy now ;).

I guess the biggest plus about the new ID, other than my old one being expired tomorrow and having a valid ID to be able to fly back home this summer, is the fact that I no longer have to go through awkward moments of getting carded at bars or otherwise. No more "what's this?" or "I can make this in my basement" as people look at my ID. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a sigh of relief *inhale*...*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

Old Poem

I've been meaning to start writing poetry again. I used to write regularly in middle and high school but ever since college I've all but completely quit. Not out of wanting to, particularly, but out of simple lack of action. In other words, I just didn't do it. Well here's my first step towards trying. Incited by some friends, I'm going to publish one of my old poems here, completely unedited (though I was tempted to do so). Hopefully this'll be a step in the direction towards writing more. Perhaps I'll occasionally cherry-pick some of the haiku I write at work and put those up because those are as contemporary me as possible. So here we go, a poem called Time.

Time, the unstoppable giant
Has gotten in my way once again.
Every short breath, a tick
Every long step, a year
His eyes, so full of age
His arms, as heavy as gravity
His chest, heaving a rhythmic heart
A heart that beats a sunrise,
And pulsates change,
And bleeds with memory.

That giant is in my way again
And I try to go against him,
Knowing that a loss is a certainty.

So I unsheathe my weapon
A blade called haste
And I pull over me a cover
A shield called patience
And I run, swinging haste to and fro
Inciting at least a reaction,
If anything at all
From the oblivious giant.

Yet without knowing
Through the field of eternity
As time walks, ever so slowly,
Creeping like a sloth
I run through and into a field of thorns
One I had only heard called regret
So with patience,
I try to help feeling the sting of regret.

Something changes
I start mending my suit
And I use the thread: idleness
And with not a moment to spare,
Arms heavy, eyes old
Wings spread and open and ready
And Time takes flight.

© Emilio Gandara 2008 (is this really necessary?)

And so with that, I'll hopefully leave a floating note waiting to be played, constantly reminding myself that I want to play it.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!

I have officially reached 180 pounds of weight today! I have reached my goal and the following is gonna sound like an awards speech haha. First of all I need to thank God. It's because of all of the machinations of His will that I'm even able to get out of bed and work and then work out, at the Sherwin Williams Gym, in Cleveland, OH, until November. See what I'm getting at? I wanna thank my Dad for being an awesome example and an inspiration. Dad has discipline of pure titanium and I'm glad I've finally learned a bit of it. I wanna thank the rest of my family for encouraging me and believing in me and very much so my friends for hearing me spaz out about every pound I lost and for getting excited with me about my progress and commitment.

So what now? Well, I'm gonna keep going, of course! Haha. I can't stop now! I'm probably going to keep losing weight if I keep doing what I'm doing. However, from this point on I can set new and different goals. I've finally reached the weight I targeted, which is the weight somebody with my proportions is approximately supposed to be in. One idea I have is, if I lose a good amount more I'll start working on building a little bit of muscle weight, or perhaps that'll just happen anyway. We'll see. In any case, I'm super excited and happy.

Is it me or...?

Would you call it a vision if you're working on your own thing, thinking of nothing in particular or reading and out of seemingly nowhere you get struck with a very strong image that's even accompanied by emotions?

Gettin' close!

Hey all, once more with the weight loss thing haha. Seems like that's about the only thing happening lately. But it's not! I have two fun stories to tell from yesterday, but before I do, I'll have you know I'm only 4 pounds away from my weight loss goal of 180lbs!

Well apart from the whole weight loss deal, tuesday was a pretty cool day. For a little while I'd been playing around with the idea of getting a hair cut and I thought the best place to get it pretty cheap was in the barber shop near where I live and tuesday was the best day because it closes at 6:30 and I'm usually in the gym until then cept T and F and on F I may go to the bar with some teammates and drink till 5 or 5:30 and, while that would give me time, there's no time like the present, as they say, and I'd already pumped myself up so I decided to go ahead and do it on Tuesday after work. Well I head to the place and the one barber dude is there just chillin'. So we set up, I sit down and he asks me what I wanna do. At that point I honestly hadn't come to a set conclusion on what I wanted to do yet. I definitely wanted a change but I couldn't come up with any particular hair style I wanted so I went with the trusty ol' buzz haha. The guy had a million and one stories to tell. A very spirited speaker, he told me all sorts of things about his life. Early on I told him I'm from Puerto Rico and that was the first time that day I was told I don't look puertorrican. No big deal, I do get that a lot haha. He has friends that are puertorrican (heritage at least) and so that's how he figured but anyway he kept telling me of his zany stories and how he loves to travel and of his trip to europe and not having enough cash and buying weed and all those interesting things people do. I shared with him my passion for Japanese and for my dream of traveling to Japan and he much encouraged me to definitely just do it because he really loves traveling. I little while later his dad (probably the owner of the place) comes in and we keep talking. His dad mentions that near where I live there's often some concerts in the summer and here's where the quote of the day comes from. Now, I warn you this will be far from verbatim but essentially he said "dad, wtf, concerts? when you're 21 all you care about is the sexy hoes at the clubs on 6th". And if I was the average guy he probably would've nailed it but I've only gone out clubbing once, and I went to get down on the dance floor, not to go sight seeing, haha.

After getting my hair cut I dropped by my apartment to change and pick up some clothes that I wanted to take to the dry cleaners coz I don't trust myself washing my nice shirts. The girl at the cleaners, I could pretty much tell she was latina but I still always went about my business not even bothering to try and speak any spanish or anything. This is only the second time I actually go there after all. This time, though, she asked me if I was hispanic, since my last name is pretty unusual and the way I pronounce it in spanish sorta gives me away. So that just opened the door for a big ol Q&A about where I was from and how long I'd been in the states and whatnot and she went on to scold me for not having spoken to her in spanish before, haha. She was mad that I hadn't recognized her latina-ness and told her I too was "boricua". "Me debes una" (you owe me one) she says as I'm ready to leave, for I must definitely talk to her in spanish next time haha. She seems like a cool person and it was a good time overall just talkin' PR spanish and being amused at her disbelief.

So all in all it really was a fun day. Actually, it's been a pretty fun week and tomorrow I'm going to the Winking Lizard for a Team Lunch. (yes, it's a tavern LOL)

Milestone #2

This is more an announcement than a blog really. This monday when I weighed myself after my work out I was down to 190 pounds! Woot!!! I'm veeery excited. Now only 10 more pounds till I reach my goal. Of course, it's not like I'll stop working out after I reach it, but it'll be a great moment when I finally do :D. It's very rewarding working out and being careful what I eat. Probably more so intrinsically than extrinsically. That is to say, it feels good to be doing this at all and to stick to it and that likely more than getting in shape and becoming healthier. That's just me though. And so, that's that. Maybe next time some of you see me I'll look a bit different. :D

Falling Up

So I have made a mistake. Probably not a grave one though so it's alright, but since I published it here, I may as well correct it here as well. It regards my new band I love: Falling Up. That's right, not Captiva. Captiva is, in fact, the name of their latest album. Also, that myspace page I linked to was not their actual space. They actually have thousands of friends/fans, yay! I found out because I got their album in the mail today (double yay!) and when I was importing it to my library I tried to look for the artist captiva and couldn't find any, and upon closer inspection (see: looking at the album and artist columns), I came across the knowledge that Captiva is the album and Falling Up is the band!!! Well regardless of such things, the CD is awesome, of course and I'll be freaking out about Falling Up instead of Captiva from now on. On a personal note, however, I think I would've liked it better the other way around, as in, with Captiva as their name and Falling Up as the album name. But of course, I'm not the band so I don't get to make these choices, and it's pretty inconsequential anyway :) I still really like the music they play. So that's it for this post, still waiting for YMCK's album, though until then I've got this guy.

OK, guess it's not over yet coz I wanna mention that today I didn't get to have my chocolate martini I was wanting :(. On the bright side though, the reason I didn't get it was because Sherwin Williams closed at 4 given the bad weather Cleveland is finding itself in. So that last hour of work will be payed for and I got to leave a half hour earlier than I had anticipated, woot! So here's the real end to this post, quick, before I think of anything else!

久しぶり

(it's been a while) And boy has it been! My clamoring fans! I have neglected you so. Wait, where are you? Do I even have clamoring fans? Didn't think so. *hearty laugh* Well as you can see (read?), I'm in high spirits. Considering me, that's a relatively rare occurrence so take it in friend, take it in. Anyway, in regards to my previous post (which was [omg] 18 days ago!!!), I have indeed continued to lose weight. I've lost about 5 pounds since then! I'm now at 194 and I'm lovin' the progress. January was a tough month because I didn't feel like I made that much progress but lately it seems I've been going down pretty steadily and it's awesome.

So what can I say? I know, I can talk about Super Smash Bros Brawl again. *entire universe rolls eyes* Yeah, well you're reading it so you should've known it was coming! Well as of today there's 8 days that must come to pass before I can get my hands on that little handful of fun. Of course I'm counting the days! *another hearty laugh* And here's where my nerdiness starts to come out: I'm going to list the top 5 characters that I want to try out.

1. Lucario


2. Lucas (no relation to Lucario lulz)


3. Metaknight


4. Pokemon Trainer


5. Olimar and the Pikmin

But enough about my obsession with smash bros, let's talk serious business-- actually, let's not coz I'm in too good of a mood to ruin it. Instead let's talk about Captiva. I'm not surprised you haven't heard of them. Well guess what, if your musical tastes are anything like mine, and I know for several of you, there's a few similarities here and there, you will like them! I'm going to get their album, and if you've got 7 bucks to spare, so should you. Here's a few reasons why: they're awesome, they're chrisitan, their music is way cool and they're awesome . I heard their music today for the first time and I'm instantly hooked. That's how much I like 'em. So be a good little bunch of boys and girls and support this cool band. SO THERE!!!

I have been saying 'so there!' a lot lately, and for not much of a reason either, perhaps my old randomness kicking in (or did it ever leave??) Also, I'd rather keep it under wraps, but it's so embarrassing that I should just let you know- let the entire internet know: I'm saying boss instead of cool at times now. Is it 80's? Is it 90's? I don't care, coz right now, it's TaT's. Speaking of things that have changed/things I've learned or discovered, the å I often used in TaT actually gives it a pronunciation of toat (like toad but with a t) so I'm officially removing it from my nickname. It's cool having a little ring on my a but it's just not gonna happen anymore. Secondly, 波導 (hadou), using the kanji for 'wave' and '(to) guide', becomes a word that has some sort of lore rather than a set meaning. I'm sure it means something though but it would be difficult to explain. If Bleach (where shinigami (death gods) destroy baddo spiritsu) uses the same kanji then it would be interesting because it would mean it's not a series-particular word. That's my guess because I learned about it through smash bros (and oh, he mentioned it again, but don't worry, I'm not using the link to digress into it *yet another hearty laugh*). Whatever the case, in smash bros (sorry), they translate it as 'aura' but I think that's about as paraphrased as 'special move' is from 必殺ワザ　'certain death technique'(no, I'm not kidding.)

And with that I'll leave my loyal fans for a hopefully much shorter time (shame on me!). Seeeeee ya next time :D

First Milestone

This won't be a long one (I hope). Basically, I just want to say that I finally reached the first milestone in my exercising. I have gone below 200 pounds!!! Ok so I'm at 199, but it's just gonna keep on going down. When I started I was at about 206 or so. So this marks the first step towards a healthier, more active (not to mention sexier) me! hahaha. And a funny story, I actually laughed out loud in the locker room because I thought I'd celebrate by eating some pizza. I later decided not to have any pizza because my laziness got the best of me again. One time where that's a good thing. So there you have it. 190, here we come.

tristeza ajena

For those out there that read my blog but aren't familiar with the spanish language, the title means 'foreign sadness'. The reason I chose to say it in spanish is because, unlike in English, it carries the connotation that it belonged to somebody else, rather than it just being a sadness that is simply not mine. Now to the point.

Well I ran out of milk today so I thought I'd take a quick trip to the local grocery store, Constantino's, which I have developed a bit of dislike for, but it's not fully grounded and, in its defense, it is convenient, especially having it that close. Regardless, I went and got some cereal and soap, which was going to run out soon and went to the cashier to check out. An older woman, probably in her 40s looked as though she was wiping away tears from her eyes. Her voice broke as she said something I don't even remember. I could hardly stand to look at her, I was instantly grieved and wondered what had occurred. I wanted to say something, ask her what was wrong or try to offer some words of encouragement, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. All I could do was helplessly wait while she bagged my things, a pain, obviously wearing her down. I payed, distraught at my inadequacies. I didn't want to be there, I wanted her to be able to leave and heal her pains somehow, but she was tied to the spot. Her "have a good night" pained me all the more and as I replied "you too" I couldn't have been lying all the more. I knew her night couldn't be good, though I hoped for it truly.

Now, this is all my perception, as I don't know this person and even less, her circumstances, but I thought I would share the episode with you guys as it really impacted me. I hope she's alright.

clubbin'

Hey all, strap in to your seats and get ready for a bit of an experience. It might run a little long but last night was hilariously awesome so sit back and lemme tell you all about it.

Yesterday's good times started at 4pm when a bunch of people from the team that I work with went down to a lounge/bar area in the building we work in and had a few happy hour martinis! I've never had a real martini, and that's probably true even now coz I had a CHERRY CHOCOLATE MARTINI. Now, if you like the sound of that, you'll probably like the taste even better. It was yummylicious. Well that was the end of my work day, after which I went to work out and then went home. Well I get home and I was thinking I wouldn't do anything but I still had my clothes on thinking perhaps I'd go to the grocery store nearby and get a spatula (gotta make myself some eggs in a basket!!! >.<). That didn't happen though. I got a call from Jeremy (my friend who's also co-op'ing at Sherwin) and he reminds me that the other weekend I wanted to hang out and go out and about too so I say, yeah, cool, let's do it! After this I had dinner (coz I had a hankerin' for some of the spaghetti I'd made the night before) because it was better than spending an inane amount of money at a bar to have some food outside.

So I ate up and waited for Jeremy who was gonna drop by to pick me up and then we'd figure out where to park and where to go. I already had a few places in mind but we knew we just wanted to check out places and hang out wherever we liked. Now as I'm waiting I think to myself, meh, I don't really feel like changing my clothes, my work clothes are nice enough. But then, Jeremy lets me know he's going to take a shower and I begin to think as I wait if I'm gonna go out I might as well do it right. At first I was just gonna change my shirt but then my I eventually changed everything and pimped myself out. I was gonna go with my pin-striped jacket but I opted instead for my cool hat. And, in a while you'll see why this was obviously the better choice. If you wanna see what I wore, check out my facebook for a picture. Anyway, soon after, Jeremy got on his way and picked me up and we started the night.

I live on Saint Clair Avenue, which is intersected by a bunch of roads that go from W9th then W6th and so on and so forth. The places I wanted to check out were mostly in W6th so we tried to find a parking spot there. We found a pretty nice spot where we wouldn't have to pay for parking or anything so that worked for us and we set out. This was around 9:30, which, granted, is pretty darn early to be headin' out but we really didn't have that much to do so we went for it.

First stop: The Mercury Lounge
This place was alright, there really wasn't much going on, and, again, it didn't surprise me because it was really early but we checked it out. We went to get our coats checked but when we went downstairs there was pretty much nothing but the bathrooms and an employee only area there so we went back up and checked out the place a bit more with our jackets on (it was about 18 degrees, by the way). The music was ok but it wasn't very loud, and when we tried going upstairs to see if it would be nicer we were met with some free food! We thought, awesome, but at the same time we realized there was probably some sort of private party going on, so we pretty much booked it outta there. Later on we realized we probably could've melded in there if we hadn't said anything, but even then, we both had just eaten so that's not what we were looking for.

Second stop: Starbuck's
Now, I know what you're thinking: "what the heck, that's not a club!" but if you know me, and chances are if you're reading this you do, then you know I had to get my fix, hehe. It was cool because I had starbucks about 2 days ago and the barista recognized me, though she almost didn't because of the hat. If you must know, I had a tall peppermint mocha (deeelish). I'm actually pretty sure that the other barista, even though she's cute, isn't really that good at making coffee because each time she's made mine it's been "ok", but whatevs. We sat down, sipped some coffee and went on our merry way.

Third stop: My apartment
Now, this was pretty much because we walked down 6th and saw that places weren't really doing much yet so we decided to crash at my place for a little while until it became later. I found out that Jeremy hadn't seen Advent Children (the FFVII movie) and I didn't hesitate to immediately put it on so we saw that for a while until 11 moved around and so we head out again.

Fourth stop: Blind Pig
This place seemed pretty interesting, in spite of its unusual name. When we went in it was pretty packed and the had really loud live music playing Jungle Boogie (paranananaaaa paranananaaa <- the horns section after the line jungle boogie). Upstairs it was too packed so we checked out downstairs so we could check our coats and just to see if there were fewer people. Well there were fewer people and the music was actually different. But there really weren't many people dancing and the music was kinda blah and to top it all off, the coat check cost $3 Jeremy and I were not going to spend so we just bumped that joint (lol, thanks Missy).

Fifth stop: Bar Flyy
This place's music was about the most bouncin' from around all the places we had walked by so we went in to check it out. It wasn't really full but it was going somewhere and it seemed like a good time. Jeremy got a beer and we started the night. We sat around a bit enjoying the music and just hangin' out. I was a bit hesitant about dancing coz I had to take off my jacket, which I hadn't checked and because I was a bit bashful, of course. Jeremy convinced me though by saying he'd take care of my jacket so I found myself with no excuse and I got up there. The music was pretty darn fun and loud, and that's fine with me. It was nice trance/dance mix which I love (honestly, so long as it's not reggaetton!). One thing I noticed, since I'm pretty new to the club scene is women usually at least travel in pairs. Well there were these two girls that were pretty cool. One of them sorta asian looking had either had a bit more to drink than she should've or just wanted to have some crazy fun because she was dancing like a maniac (NO! no footloose reference). Well she noticed my dancing and went up to me with her friend and we danced some, it was fun and funny to me. At one point I was dancing between the two of them haha, TaT sammich. Well after some good fun I was pretty tired so Jeremy and I hit the road again.

Revisit: The Mercury Lounge
I was still curious about the Mercury Lounge coz it's the place I wanted to go to from the get go so we checked it out again, this time much later than the first. Well, it was rather lack-luster again. It was pretty cramped, the music wasn't as loud, there really weren't that many people dancing, and although the party upstairs was over, the only thing waiting up there more of the same as downstairs. Of course, Jeremy and I left that place. On the way back down W6th a guy stops us and asks us what club we recommend. Of course were like the worst people to ask since that was our first night out and we had only recently started living in Cleveland. Still, we tried talked a bit. Jeremy asked him what kind of music he likes and he said hip-hop, which I'm sure made Jeremy pretty excited coz I know he loves it. Well the dude in fact knew more than we did and told us Club Shadow, which is actually right next to my building, but since there was a cover (entrance fee) of $10 at the time the dude told us about we just skipped on it. He also mentioned Spy, but apparently that place had closed down because there were shootings in it twice a year. Gosh.

Revisit: Bar Flyy
Well I really enjoyed Bar Flyy, hehe, so we decided to drop by again. This time we hung out for a longer time. We went downstairs and discovered that the coat check here was free YAY! But there wasn't much downstairs except a free bathroom, which is the reason I went there to begin with. Worthy of mention, I guess, is this hilarious pull quote of the night:
guy A (urinal 1): dude, don't look at my penis it's got bumps
guy B (urinal 2): *lol*
me (urinal 5): *thinks LOL wtf? haha*
Anyway, we drop off our coats and go back up and I get on the dance floor again. At this point the asian lady from earlier was still there and still dancing like a fiend, although at this point I believe she was dancing even more crazily. But there were now more characters on the dance floor. Actually, I forgot to mention him earlier but there was this asian looking dude doing his thing and I'm glad coz then it didn't look like I was the only other dude doing his thing hehe. Now there were these two middle-eastern looking girls and sometimes they would bend and wave their heads in a circle waving their hair everywhere and it was interesting, funny and even funnier when the guy they were dancing with started to do it too. Another occurrence on the dance floor was this guy that was obviously drunk go up to me and ask me some things along the lines of "have you seen this guy's web site?" and I'm like "oh yeah.... lol" then he shook my hand and kept dancing. At this point there were also a trio of asian kids, two guys and a girl and one of the guys, I could tell, could dance, when I first saw him. He was staring at everybody as if measuring their skills not even dancing yet, just standing there staring at everybody. Eventually I did see him bust a move or two and he was poppin' and lockin' like a breaker and it was cool. He was better than me but I didn't care, I wasn't there to compete, I was there to paaaaartay! haha. After dancing until I was parched Jeremy and I went downstairs again to unwind a bit and then we got a drink. I didn't know what a tab was or anything but thankfully Jeremy was more well acquainted with that sort of atmosphere and I got us some drinks and opened a tab and we were happy. Of course, I had a good ol Midori Sour, as delicious as usual (and for $6 it damn well better be!!!) and Jeremy got a gin and tonic, which was strong and interesting. Well we hung out with our drinks a bit and then went up. I finished my drink and got right back on the dance floor. Pretty much we danced till 1ish and that's about the time we were tired enough to call it a night. So we went down to pick up my tab and the coats. As I'm picking up my tab these two attractive blonde girls were next to me as I'm there waiting to get my card. Well they approach me and asked if one of them could borrow my hat and take a picture with me HAH! Therein lies the very reason why the hat was the right choice! Well, I'll never have that picture but at least I'll have the memories and the laughter because I was amused to no end. Se we got our coats and said 'see ya' to Bar Flyy.

Oh but the night isn't over yet! As we were walking back to Jeremy's car a girl latches on to our arms. "Where are you guys going?" Now, I was like, whoa, but we were honest and just said we were going home. So this girl tells us about how she lost her friends and now she's alone and she has no idea where she is because she's only just started working downtown and so we were nice and offered to help her out. We didn't really know what to do cept offer to take her to her car and we didn't really know where Mulberry is but luckily, Jeremy has a GPS and we made it no problem. Well on the way there we realize that girl (Nicole) was rather drunk. Endlessly saying "look at you guys, you guys are so nice" and being bubbly while extremely floaty, it was truly apparent. Which is why when we got to the parking lot we decided it was probably best to convince her we should drive her home as we didn't want her to die/kill anyone trying to make it there. Well, we finally convinced to take her home and I'm glad we did because she was so drunk she almost didn't remember her address. But we made it there. It was about a 15 minute or so drive and I was just keeping from laughing because she kept asking us if we went downtown often and where we worked. I think she probably asked us about 3-5 times, and it's likely even today she has no idea who we even are haha. She also pretty much told us her life story and it was pretty amusing hearing her rant about the girls at her work place wearing hoochie mama outfits and how she plays volleyball on her job. Again, no idea. On the flip side, she invited us to a party she's having 2 weeks from now at her house and it seems Jeremy and I may have made an unexpected and amusing friend. So we drop her off and head back. On the way back one last interesting thing happened. We were driving down and Jeremy was putting on his seat belt but it was stuck on the door so he opened it slightly to pull it back in. Well, of course the streets are swimming with cops on a night like that and a cop saw it. Well, at the light the cop stopped next to us and asked us if everything was alright. Thankfully we both drank responsibly and were as sober as it gets and it was pretty much done when Jeremy said "oh yeah, I was just putting on my seat belt, it was stuck on the door."And with that, the cops were satisfied and left.

Well last night was an extremely interesting night. I wonder what adventures wait for us next week ^^ Till then, seeeeee ya later!

Sushi Adventure

It's been a while since my last post. I do apologize, to those who are desperately waiting for this post like I'm trying to patiently wait for smash bros brawl. Is there actually any one out there that fits that description? Unlikely. Yes, well, I did want to post something for a while and just couldn't bring myself to do it but today's occurrence begs for a post and here goes the story.

Well last friday I wanted to do something other than stay at the apartment and play video games or do whatever I normally do on friday nights so I made a search online for a restaurant that I could go to and have myself a nice dinner. I chose a restaurant called Tea House Noodle, but unfortunately it was rather far and I wasn't willing to walk that much just for dinner, no sir. So I picked a different restaurant and went there and had a nice pizza and no alcohol, even though it was a bar because it seems there's just no way for people to accept that my extremely legit driver's license from Puerto Rico, is valid as an ID in the US. Not that airports have no problem with it or anything. I'm not bitter! Well, in any case, today I decided I wanted to try that Noodle place out because the location is much closer to my work place than it is to my apartment so after working out I made my way there. Well, sadly, it was closed. However, right next to it lies a place called Sapporo Sushi and I decided to give it a try because I like sushi and, hey, it says Sapporo so it's Japanese.

I had a Spicy California Maki (Roll) as usual and it was deeelicious. There was only one person serving and preparing the sushi at the place: a man of probably his late 30s early 40s who was probably Japanese, seeing as how he ran a Japanese place. Well, after the meal I went to pay and thanked him for the sushi, saying it was very good and giving him a handsome tip because I'm sure it's hard enough doing everything it takes to run that kind of shop on your own, and of course, because the sushi was good. Well, I was pondering it throughout the meal but when it was over I finally mustered enough courage to ask him about a character in Japanese, a Kanji, that I didn't know. I could read the three others in the word but I didn't know that one so I figured I would ask him. Well after I paid I asked him about it. He was a little confused at first so I thought it was just me mumbling but I tried to make myself clear and pointed and read aloud what I knew but he still didn't know. Eventually he realized what I was asking for but just apologized saying "sorry, I don't know". I was taken aback and felt a bit sheepish. Then again, thinking about it, he probably felt even more so because he runs a Japanese restaurant but doesn't know Japanese. That's pretty much the only conclusion I can come to and I really shouldn't be too surprised. In the mall, the Japanese place (sakkio Japan) is also run by people that aren't Japanese. In any case, the sushi really was good so it makes up for the slightly awkward moment. And that was my sushi adventure.

Happy Saturday

This morning I slept in for the first time in the whole week and it felt great. I was practically aching for a nap at work on friday. Not from lack of sleep since I get at the very least 7 hours of sleep every weeknight, but I was just tired yesterday. It might also be worth mentioning that I had been down the past few days, under the weather or what have you. So the morning went by as usual, I did my daily morning exercise routine (which is just a few push ups and sit ups, but it can't hurt ^^) and had some breakfast. I get on the computer and one of the first messages I received as I got on the computer was "Happy Saturday". At first I thought, sure, it may be, but if the past few days were any indication, I'd be down the whole day again. Thankfully, my first feelings were wrong. I played video games for a good bit of the morning then took the camera and took some footage of my apartment during the day and continued to play video games, all the while talking with my friends online. At around 2 I left to get some lunch in the mall because I remembered that on saturdays I would go have breakfast at Panera with Ryan and I do miss that so I went and had a bagel after lunch at the mall (I had Arby's in case you were wondering). Afterwards I hung out at the mall a little, which actually translates to "I went to gamestop, browsed in there a bit and then left". There's actually a little more to the gamestop part of this story. Now, I'm no fan of gamestop but boy did they "meter las patas"* with me today. Basically I went in only to look around at all the games I know I don't want coz I pick my games very carefully as I'm cheap and they're expensive but then I remembered that I had entertained the idea of getting Pikmin as I had gained some interest in it given Olimar's addition to the Smash bros roster. Well after spending several minutes trying to even locate the Gamecube games section of the store, I actually stumbled upon a used copy (which was exactly what I was looking for) and upon taking it to the cashier so that I could take it home, I was met with the disappointment (in Gamestop) of them not having the game, even in spite of the box being on the shelf. Now, I don't know how often this happens, but it's an oversight they had best keep from occurring. Because it was just a whim, I was neither lifted nor sunk at the prospect of not having the game, but imagine, if you will, an eager lad who has been earnestly seeking the game for several days going to different stores and gleefully stumbling upon this box only to be met with soul-crushing disappointment seconds later. Not a pretty picture, let me tell you. Regardless, in the insightful words of my good ex-roommate Dale: "gamestop is run on bad business". At the time of writing this, I'm doing laundry and just enjoying the partial solitude of living in Cleveland. Why partial, you may ask. Nothing complicated, really, it's because I can still freely speak with my good friends. The very reason behind this post proof that this lonesome is not a disconnection.

All in all, even in spite of the pikmin fiasco, it has been a Happy Saturday, if for no other reason, because I've been able to rise out of my gloom and that's something to be truly glad about.

cool thing

Now, I normally wouldn't post about something as simple or short as this, but this was so cool I just thought I might as well put it out there. And besides, if I write it down, it'll make it harder to forget... or maybe, easier to remember. Anyway, I was playing Kingdom Hearts II (one of my favorite games evaaaar) and Sora goes: "Our hearts are connected." or something like that and for a second I tried to imagine what the word would be in japanese. Then the word 繋がる (tsunagaru) popped into my head. I didn't know what it meant but I thought about it. So out of curiosity I look it up and, lo and behold, it means to be connected, to be tied to. It just blew my mind coz I didn't even try to make that connection (no pun intended). And so, it's really cool for me because I wanna be fluent in japanese, and if these sorts of things happen it's probably because some bridges in my head are already beginning to be built (maybe). Frankly, that's exciting to me :)

僕たちの心は繋がります。

Ashigaikohoh

(a-SHE-guy-caw-huh *in a low raspy voice*) Well before I even begin I might as well demystify the title. It's merely a phrase High Templars from Starcraft say. It's amusing to me and that's why I wrote it and saying it is fun. Besides that, an alternate title may have been "From 80 to 8" or "24 hour Range", which I just made up right now because of what I'm about to write about.

Well the vacations in Puerto Rico where really nice. I got to see my back home peeps for some darn good fun and had some great food. Near the end of the break I got my tummy mad at me and we weren't on happy terms until after I left. It may be an unusual aversion to gigantic meatballs but this would be the second time that meatballs cause my stomach to become cross with me. Additionally, it wasn't fully healed when I left PR but I got to Cleveland and got a cold for a day. I left the sunny island's winter time at around 80 degrees and Cleveland welcomed me with a rather cold wintry morning of about 9 degrees. Hence the "From 80 to 8" title (although it was really 9, artistic license allows me the degree of separation). My first day back at work I was sniffling with a runny, stuffy nose and sneezing my way threw the whole day. Thankfully by then my stomach was on good terms with me again but the cold was annoying. On an even brighter side, by friday I was practically completely back to normal again, YAY!

So today I got up super early after going to sleep at 3ish AM (darn you bio-clock). But I tried to sleep in for a few more hours before I got bored with just laying in bed awake and then went to take a shower and go pay my rent for the first time. Woot. It feels like such a momentous occasion. *pats self on the back* But truly, I'm just glad God's made so much provision. I got the job, a place to stay and after paying all the bills I still have enough to save, help pay off the plane ticket back home (^.^'), and even some left over for me.

Wow, today I'm actually not gonna ramble on for 10 more paragraphs like I usually do. Although I could coz I haven't blogged in a while but I'll leave it at this. Until next time, friends and fam and friends that are like fam.

♡