on a side note...

my family rocks

caving in

Wow, I actually have a real reason to write a blog. Something consequential. As anyone who has been reading this blog thus far knows, I will be moving to Cleveland this weekend. Everything was going swimmingly and then out of the blue today my plans took a terrible hit. I suppose I can blame naught but my inexperience, lack of preparation and tenacity, and overall my utter irresponsibility (and yes, I'm probably being a bit hard on myself). Whatever the case, today I was given the unpleasant surprise that I have to essentially "come up", as they say, with a large sum of money by this saturday. Now it's not earth-shattering but I had my money basically counted and budgeted already and this just throws it all out the window by far.

I suppose that it all stems from the fact that I had been unrealistically too positive with when I would have to pay the apartment complex for the rest of the money I owed on the deposit and the first month. It's my own fault coz I never double checked with them when it actually was that I was going to have to pay that and somewhere deep inside me I was thinking that maybe the lady would make an exception for me and wait until I started making money. Of course, I don't know where I got that idea in my head but *sigh* what can i do now, right? So now I'm screwing over my entire family having them take money out of their savings and just out of funds they shouldn't even consider taking out of just coz of my monumental oversight. So of course they're all telling me not to worry too much out of it but how can I? At this age I should be providing for myself already and not counting on my family to support me all the time. What adds insult to injury is that this all could've been prevented. But that's in the past now so it's no use wishing I could change it. I could say, 'if I'd known I was gonna have to pay this now I would've done X' but it's worth nothing to my current situation.

Furthermore, another thing just worked to rub salt on the open wound but I won't even go into detail on that one. Did I trust God too much? Did I trust to the point of ignorance? Probably.

Saturdaze

Today marks the week countdown. I know I may be starting to sound like a broken record, but I just can't shake the advent. It's in my mind and it's not going away. (like this stupid fly, don't bother me!!!) Other than the all the stuff about the move and whatnot, I've been having a good time. Thanksgiving at the Crawford's was nice. Lots of delicious food and very nice hosts made it for a pleasant experience. I'm glad I didn't spend thanksgiving at my apartment. I wouldn't necessarily been alone but it wouldn't have been the same without family. Baby BEC is funny and I'm glad I can be of assistance to seeeestur whenever needed.

The past 2 days or so I went on a manga reading binge. I read about two years worth of One Piece volumes. That's about an entire story arc, and let me just say, it was amazing. The more I read One Piece the more I love it. It's funny, the action is amazing and the heartfelt moments are authentic and heart-wrenching. So yeah, I've been reading it like a great book you just can't put down, which is going to be terrible once I catch up with where the manga is right now because then I'll have access to one single chapter a week! I went through about 100 chapters in like 2 days!!! *sigh* but at least it'll be amazing nevertheless.

Today I realized something rather unhappy. I am lacking a television set for my apartment in Cleveland. Talk about :/ ! Oh well, thankfully, I'm not an avid TV watcher. In fact, I don't usually watch TV. What I do need a TV for is playing video games and that I really miss without a TV. So I don't really know what I'm gonna do about a TV yet but I don't really care yet. I have my computer and that's good enough for me for the time being.

Ok, I have to write about this right now coz it's just too weird. The newest version of Peter Pan is playing, the really new one with special effects out the wazoo and stuff. I don't think it's just me but there is a ridiculous sexual tension between Peter and Wendy. It's actually bothering me and that's why I just had to write about it. It's way weird. K, now I'm good.

I think I'll cut it short here before I keep ranting about Peter Pan haha.

Normality or The Calm Before The Storm

So another quick interval of rest has come into my life. Right now I'm vacationing at my sister's as you may know and I'm just thinking and looking forward. Thinking about the job I have to start in two weeks, thinking about the move I have to make in exactly two weeks, all the clothes I have to buy and just all of that. However, I can have a bit of peace about it all because I know God's in control and that whatever happens he can use it for the best and that his plans are to prosper me and not harm me so I'm in good hands :). Nevertheless, my mind likes the front seat and even when my spirit wants to be calm and trust the Lord, my mind likes to grab the steering wheel and steer me towards worry. Will I have enough money? Will I be able to afford everything? Will I be able to do my job efficiently? All those sorts of questions pop up and it's not fair to myself to ask myself those questions because I simply do not know the future. I can just give it my best and do as well as I can when I get there. Until then, I shan't concern myself with what I cannot affect. So while I may worry thinking about the possibility of a storm, instead I will try to appreciate the normality of the everyday life that is constant changes.

See Y'all later

It's 3:47 AM and in approximately 15 minutes, I'm about to set off the first of a chain of events that will result in the beginning of a brand new adventure for me. Today I'm going to visit my sister and her family in Tennessee and staying over at her place through thanksgiving break. When that ends I'm going to return here to Rochester, pack all my belongings and move to Cleveland. It wasn't until tonight upon saying good-bye to Bucky and Ryan that I truly felt the impact of the move. I won't be in rochester again for about a year (because of the co-op plus the leave of absence I'll be taking next fall) and I really really am going to miss my good friends here while I am away. Not just the guys but all the wonderful people I've met during my time here. I'm so glad I have been able to meet them and be friends and share laughter and awkward moments and hours of boredom, stress, fun, work and just overall what life is about.

Thank you all. See you soon! :)

When Heaven and Earth Collide

Were I to tell you about happiness, I would not say it. I would describe the smile of naivete, the beauty of a new sunrise or the solace in forgiveness. If I spoke of sadness, I would not say it. I would explain the agony in loss, the pain of existence or the song of the lonesome. So what then shall I say? This happening was a chance. An unfortunate fluke with lackadaisical time. It would be a lie to say there was not an emotion worth having that was not had. Nevertheless, there are chains that bind us and truths that free us. The creature of desire was always bound. Thus it was never born. Mine were the keys to the cage for that creature and my choice was to release it not. If there is a reason to be told or a justification to shield with then it would be none other than integrity or perchance a precaution. Had that creature been born, it may have mauled each of us. My judgement has it so that the unseen bests the seen in ultimate reality. As such, to revel in the seen renders the unseen possibly unsalvagable. Truth be told, 'twas not out of fear, but respect and honor, that those keys were not used. Finally, at a time as there was near the end. I would be distraught to destroy a bond that was already ratified and in the process of crystallization. That also weighed my decision. So please understand that if nothing else, the spark that may have lit a wildfire was extinguished to save as many trees as possible.

I cared.

We Won...

And I was there! I decided to go to the hockey game on saturday night after all and it ended up being a good choice. I didn't know we were going to play Air Force again but we did and we won. It was pretty intense. In the first period we scored 3 goals and they only had 1. Unfortunately, we didn't really do much after that. We scored one more goal but they got 2 more in so now we were only winning by one point. Near the end of the third and last period, the opoosing team pulls a risky move! They get rid of their goalie in exchange for having another player on the offense. Thankfully we were still able to fend them off and almost got another goal in right before the last period ended. Needless to say, it was pretty darn cool!

The Beginning

So I don't know how often this blog will be updated and especially not with what. However, I do intend to use it, so hopefully I won't abandon it. This is my very first one and I suppose I can talk about this very moment. 'Speak For Yourself', an amazing album by Imogen Heap, has just finished and I go into iTunes and start playing 'Elements Of Life' by DJ Tiësto. 'Elements Of Life' is really cool, though I have to admit that my favorite tracks by him are the vocal trance tracks like 'Just Be', 'Walking On Clouds' and 'Love Comes Again' from another one of his Albums 'Just Be' and from this one I just love 'Sweet Things', 'Break My Fall' and 'In The Dark'. I don't mean for this to be a CD review haha so I'll stop talking about Tiesto. So today I woke up after noon. Classes are over and my fall break is almost about to begin. There's still 1 week left of school but it's not class, just finals, and for a lot of people, projects. However, I thankfully don't have any this quarter. I'm sure my last two quarters next year will definitely have me working.

Last night I went to my first ever hockey game. It's the biggest sport at RIT (Rochester Institute of Technology, in case you didn't know, though if you're reading this I wonder how you didn't) and I'm somewhat surprised I had never gone. It was totally crazy. Now I'm not one to talk smack, like Mike Rowe from dirty jobs I'd rather call myself an encourager. Nevertheless, at the end of the night I somehow found myself screaming 'YOU SUCK' at the people from the opposing team. It was unfortunate as we lost during overtime and I came to the realization that no matter how much we told them that they suck, they really didn't. But overall I regret nothing about going and it was just tons of fun. Heck, I might even go to the one tonight.

I don't wanna run out of things to say on my first post (as if that could happen) so I'm ending it here. Here's to lots of interesting posts for moi. ^_^